On Actors...

I watched Oprah’s Oscar special on Thursday night. Famous Oscar winners were paired up and let loose. The first pair was George Clooney and Julia Roberts. They barbequed at Clooney’s Hollywood Hills and took a call from Brad Pitt. It should have all seemed too glamorous and intangible to the home viewer – but it wasn’t. Watching these people in a pseudo-natural habitat ( come on, how natural can you be with cameras and assistants all around), made me realize something big – no HUGE : Actors are rather boring people.

Their blocking was off, the lighting could have been tweaked, and the script was all over the place. Most importantly, their dialogue needed a lot of work. Julia repeated the same question incessantly (“are you dating anyone”) to the point where someone needed to yell “cut”!

And as to George being such a funny guy? Well, he wasn’t NOT funny. He remined me of a fun bachelor-type uncle you visit who has the same one-liner that made you laugh when you were a kid. He was funny in a self-deprecating kind of way.

The second pair was Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman. These two were really something. Actors are so sensitive. Both were constantly on the verge of tears. It makes sense. If they are good actors (especially of the dramatic variety) then they need to tap into a well of sensitivity just below the surface. That’s why they are so unpredictable.

And it wasn’t like they were talking about losing a dog, or a child, or a parent. What made them tear up were issues they battled with themselves. Nicole: “I don’t understand why people think you are so volatile and aggressive”. Russell: (holding back tears) “They just don’t understand.” That’s not word-for-word but close enough.

As for Nicole Kidman, ten years married to Tom Cruise was plenty of time for the aliens to re-shape her body into something un-human. Is that even her real hairline? What’s with the monotone voice, anyway?

The third pair was Sidney Poitier and Jaime Foxx. I’m not sure how I feel about Jaime Foxx. He is definitely a great entertainer - I saw him at a fundraiser and he rocked the piano with his colorful Ray Charles impression. He managed to get a few hundred 60+ Jewish philanthropists to get up onto their feet and boogie like they were black. But I’m starting to think that’s what his shtick is - he is a great entertainer, not necessarily a great actor. Does anyone remember “In Living Color”? Sure he knows how to “do” Ray Charles and even “do” Sidney Poitier right in front of him – but I feel like it’s all his gimmick. Sidney Poitier, on the other hand, seemed like a great person. Really genuine, and human.

So, my overall impression of Oprah’s first ever Oscar pre-show? Actors are a pretty boring bunch……with a mess of issues. They are too sensitive, self-critical and self-involved (what, you’re surprised?). They like to gab with their friends about anything and nothing, and they have in-jokes which only they understand. My conclusion? Actors are pretty normal people. Without a great writer and a great script, they are just like you and me (well maybe you - I am a writer, after all).