Saturday, June 9, 2007

The Dao of Sho

The sagest, oldest, most guilt-ladden advice often comes from mothers. Mothers who know best. Mothers who know you best. Some mothers offer advice freely, like an endless stream of water - the river of advice is always there, and it's your choice to drink from it. Other mothers are more aggressive - like a torrential tidal wave. There is no choice. It sneaks up on you when you are unprepared. Water sprays everywhere. It crushes you, stings your eyes, and creeps into your mouth until you choke on it.

Those of us with practice have learned to equip ourselves to face the inevitable advice avalanche. We try and rise above the water. We learn to hold our breaths. But try as we might, something always sticks. Like water that seeps in the ear canals and only makes its way out with some sort of ritualistic head banging, jumping on one leg feat of defiance. Good luck with that.


Now all advice isn't bad. Some is good. Some can really apply to different aspects of our lives. It doesn't offend or persecute or belittle. It doesn't tell us how to dress or who to love or what kind of job to have. For this reason, I have compiled some worthy maternal advice, worthy of heed and not of scorn, for your consideration. Since this comes straight from the mouth of my mother, I will call it the Dao of Sho. If you know my mother, you know why. It is a shortened moniker.

Some of the words of advice are specific, most are translated, a couple are modified, and all are applicable.

Maybe the potential popularity of the Dao of Sho will spin-off into it’s own blog (mom are you listening?) and be printed on those little slips of paper blind people pass out at the airport for a dollar. In any event, regard the following words of wisdom as your fortune cookie for the day:

The Dao of Sho

1. The ocean of depression is long, so, lazy-butt, start paddling! (translated from the Persian).

2. Don’t sell yourself short. People will walk all over you.

3. Don’t leave your child at home with the nanny and take the baby to Isfahan for a year.

4. Good friends are good friends because they do good things. Not because they say they will do good things and they don’t.

5. If five people live in a house with four rooms, don’t put the two people in the smallest room by the garage.

6. No matter how far you go, you see the same sky (Translated from the Persian).

7. If offered a free apartment in France don’t decline it in favor of hard work in pursuit of the American Dream. Everyone knows dreaming in French is better than working in English.

8. A nanny that pricks your baby’s butt with needles to stop her from crying, IS NOT A GOOD NANNY!

Care to pass any of your worthy maternal advice? Please send them along.

2 comments:

antonia said...

well, i always had been a rather short and skinny kid. and one day somebody commented on that which my mom answered with:

just because you're short doesn't mean you can't be grand.

Naz said...

I love it!